For the month of October, we are answering the challenge John Goldwater, pastor of Christ Community Church in Grenada, MS, laid out — the #DailyWisdomChallenge. Each day, we are going to read through a chapter of Proverbs corresponding to the day of the month.
This fits with what we have studied in Colossians, specifically Colossians 3:1-2, namely that we should seek “the things that are above, where Christ is” and set our minds like a thermostat “on things that are above, not on things that are on earth”. Imagine what a month meditating on God’s Word daily can do for us.
Won’t you join us on this #DailyWisdomChallenge and set your minds on Christ?
Outside of God saving me, the single greatest blessing in my life is God allowing me to be married to Candice. It does not take much thought or thinking through our relationship over the last twenty-three years to confirm that she is definitely my “good thing” and an example of God’s grace and “favor” in my life. And none who know or care for me would disagree.
But Proverbs 18:22 is not just about me and Candice. It, like so many other proverbs, finds its meaning not only in its own words but in contrast to others. As we looked at when discussing the “forbidden woman” v. the wife of one’s youth in Proverb 5, there is a contrast between the life that God prescribes and the paths that forge on their own. In the coming chapters of Proverbs (21:19 and 25:24), there is a contrast between wives who seek to be something other than a good thing or godly favor but to drive their husbands to be better off living “in a desert land” (Proverbs 21:19) or on “a corner of the housetop than in a house” (Proverbs 25:24).
Proverbs 18:22 represents living according to God’s wisdom in contrast to the anti-wisdom of the temptations of the forbidden woman or the plight of a quarrelsome marriage. God has a specific design for marriage and, as He Himself invented marriage, His design works best.
Before we get into God’s design for marriage, let us clarify as we did in our our “Adorned With Christ in All of Life: Marriage” part of our Colossians series, marriage isn’t for everyone, as Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 7. Marriage is good and “should be held in honor” (Hebrews 13:4), but Paul says those who stay unmarried can have even greater devotion to Christ (1 Corinthians 7:38).
God’s design for marriage began when He remarked in the Garden of Eden that it was “not good” that Adam “should be alone” and decided to “make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18). God performed the first surgery and the first marriage in quick succession. He created Eve from Adam’s rib and joined them together as man and wife. Their union was to be the example for those marriages moving forward — in intimacy as well as how it was set apart (Genesis 2:23-25).
Many try and abuse God’s design for marriage by citing the term “helper” (Genesis 2:18) and the call to submission in Ephesians 5:22, but those picture something different for marriage — something better. You see, God did not create marriage for a man’s benefit but also for women.
While it is “favor from the Lord” for man to find a wife, it is not a curse for the wife. The husband is to love and care for his wife “as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Marriage is to be a picture of the gospel (Ephesians 5:32).
To find God’s purpose for your life is a good thing. If it is singleness, that is a good and godly pursuit. If it is marriage, that is a good and godly pursuit. But both should be sought as God prescribes.
Marriage works best the way God intended with husbands caring for and loving their wives and wives caring for and loving their husbands. When I think specifically of how God has blessed me and shown favor to me in my wife, I think of the rib He used to make Eve (Genesis 2:21). God did not just design marriage; He also designed the human body. He made the rib cage to protect the most vital human organs like the heart and lungs. My wife is small, but she is fiercely protective of those she loves. She is protective of me even when I think I do not need protection. She looks to care for me even when I think I am the only one doing the caring and providing.
She has also taught me what it is to be a “helper” in the Genesis 2:18 sense. Everything that I do is enhanced because God has put her in my life. He has changed and grown me immensely over the years by His indwelling Spirit, and He has given me a desire to change, grown, and be better for the wife He has given me.
If you are reading this and married, take time and thank God for the spouse He has given you. Then, talk to your spouse and tell them you are thankful for them. Know that God has a plan for your marriage as surely as He has a plan for you (Ephesians 2:10), and see to it that you represent God’s favor to your spouse rather than husband-ing or wife-ing in such a way that they are headed for the desert or the roof! As Martin Luther said centuries ago, “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.”
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of marriage. Thank you for the way that Your relationship with Your church gives us the perfect example of love and a high standard to live up to — a standard worth striving for. Thank you for Candice and make me a man worth being married to!
Just Keith Harris 